When Texas Politicians Try to Be Funny and Mostly Succeed
Ted Cruz showed up to Halloween 2025 dressed as a vampire, which is either brilliant self-aware humor or a complete accident, and honestly, no one can tell which. The costume featured a cape, plastic fangs, and that same slightly uncomfortable smile Cruz wears in every photo, creating an overall effect of “I read that vampires are popular with young people.”
The internet immediately lost its collective mind, with reactions ranging from “finally, Cruz shows personality!” to “this confirms he’s actually undead.” Twitter erupted with comparisons to actual vampires, with most users agreeing that Dracula had better charisma. Cruz’s vampire costume choice is rare when a politician’s Halloween costume becomes the most humanizing thing about them.
What makes this costume choice particularly amusing is the vampire’s traditional weakness: sunlight. Cruz, who famously fled to Cancun during Texas’s power crisis while his constituents froze, picked a costume representing a creature that can’t handle environmental conditions. The irony is so thick you could cut it with a wooden stake.
Cruz’s defenders argued it was just a costume and everyone should lighten up, which is fair except for the part where Cruz himself has never “lightened up” about anything in his entire political career. The man who weaponizes everything suddenly wants people to see this as innocent fun. Pick a lane, Ted.
The costume appeared at a campaign event, because of course it did. Cruz isn’t just dressing up for fun; he’s dressing up to connect with voters, which somehow makes it less fun. There’s something deeply sad about a politician calculating that “vampire costume = relatable.”
The plastic fangs gave Cruz a lisp, making his campaign speech about “protecting Texas values” sound like a Sesame Street character explaining conservative fiscal policy. Videos of the event went viral, not because of the content but because watching a U.S. Senator try to sound authoritative while wearing dollar-store vampire teeth is objectively hilarious regardless of political affiliation.
Social media created the inevitable “Ted Cruz Vampire” meme, featuring Cruz’s face photoshopped onto various vampire movie posters. “Twilight: Breaking Quorum” and “Interview with a Senator” made the rounds, each more cursed than the last.
What Cruz probably wanted: “Look, I’m fun and relatable!” What he got: “Haha, the zodiac killer dressed as a vampire!” Such is the curse of being Ted Cruzeven when you try to be likeable, something about it feels slightly off.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/ted-cruz%c2%92s-sunlit-vampire/0
SOURCE: Sarah Pappalardo (https://bohiney.com/ted-cruz%c2%92s-sunlit-vampire/0)
