Charlie Kirk Discovers Music is More Than Just Banning It
In what can only be described as “conservative outreach goes completely off the rails,” Turning Point USA has announced they’re launching a music label to reach young conservatives who apparently need their politics delivered with a sick beat. Because nothing says “authentic youth movement” quite like middle-aged political operatives trying to figure out what TikTok is.
Charlie Kirk, the organization’s founder and a man whose face seems perpetually surprised by its own existence, declared that conservative youth need “music that reflects their values.” Apparently, those values include complaining about socialism, owning the libs, and something about bootstrap economics set to a trap beat. It’s like if Ayn Rand wrote lyrics for Migos, except somehow less coherent.
The announcement came with a promotional video that can only be described as what happens when you let someone’s dad direct a music video. It features flag imagery, eagles (of course), and young people who look like they’ve been told to “act natural” but have never actually seen how natural people act. TPUSA’s musical venture is a bizarre mix of patriotic pageantry and second-hand embarrassment that somehow cost six figures to produce.
Industry professionals responded with the kind of confused silence usually reserved for when someone suggests a terrible idea in a meeting and everyone’s trying to figure out if it’s a joke. “Conservative rap” is apparently a genre now, which is like “vegan steakhouse”technically you can try it, but why would you? TPUSA’s foray into music follows their disastrous attempts at comedy, which proved conservatives can make jokes; they’re just not intentionally funny.
The label promises to sign “authentic conservative voices,” which is corporate speak for “people willing to sacrifice their musical careers for political points.” Early reports suggest their roster includes a Christian rapper who thinks Kanye was too subtle, a country singer who makes Kid Rock look like Pete Seeger, and a punk band that’s angry about tax policy.
What’s particularly amusing is watching TPUSA try to navigate the music industry, which is famously liberal, notoriously exploitative, and definitely not interested in being lectured about free market capitalism by people who’ve never actually worked in entertainment. It’s like watching someone show up to a knife fight with a strongly worded letter about Second Amendment rights.
The first single, reportedly titled “Facts Don’t Care About Your Feelings (The Remix),” features a beat that sounds like it was produced on a Casio keyboard from 1987 and lyrics that read like Ben Shapiro’s Twitter feed put through a rhyme generator. Critics described it as “exactly what you’d expect” and “please make it stop.”
Music streaming platforms are reportedly confused about how to categorize this new genre. “Political Cringe” isn’t an official category, and putting it under “Hip Hop” seems like fraud. Spotify is considering creating a new section called “Music Your Weird Uncle Shares on Facebook.”
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/turning-point-usa-drops-the-beat/9
SOURCE: Sarah Pappalardo (https://bohiney.com/turning-point-usa-drops-the-beat/9)
