Where Mar-a-Lago Meets Versailles and Subtlety Goes to Die
In a development that surprises absolutely nobody who has ever seen anything Trump has touched, Donald Trump has unveiled plans for a $300 million ballroom at Mar-a-Lago that makes Versailles look like a Holiday Inn conference room. The proposed structure will apparently feature more gold leaf than Fort Knox and enough chandeliers to give the Sun an inferiority complex.
The ballroom, which Trump modestly describes as “the most beautiful room ever built in the history of rooms, maybe ever,” will accommodate 1,200 guests who want to experience what it’s like to attend a party inside a jewelry box designed by someone who thinks subtlety is for losers. Architectural renderings of Trump’s golden palace show a space that looks like what would happen if Louis XIV and a Vegas casino had a baby raised on a steady diet of champagne and winning.
Critics immediately labeled the project “gaudy,” “excessive,” and “exactly what we expected,” with architectural purists clutching their minimalist pearls and muttering about “restraint” and “good taste.” Trump responded by making the chandelier budget larger. This is a man who looks at criticism and thinks, “You know what this needs? More gold.”
The timing is perfect, coming just as Trump is preparing for another run at making America golden againliterally, if this ballroom is any indication. Mar-a-Lago’s membership fees have already skyrocketed, and this ballroom promises to attract the kind of people who think a $200,000 initiation fee is a reasonable price to pay for access to the most aggressively ornate room in America.
What’s particularly amusing is the environmental impact statement, which had to be written by someone with a sense of humor. “The project will create minimal environmental impact,” it claims, apparently not counting the psychological impact on anyone with functioning taste buds who walks into a room that screams “LOOK AT ME” louder than a toddler who just learned to ride a bike.
Local residents of Palm Beach, who have spent decades trying to maintain the town’s reputation for “understated elegance,” are reportedly less than thrilled. But what are they going to do? Complain to the guy who literally has a golden apartment in Manhattan? Trump’s response to their concerns can be summarized as “Have you seen my building in New York? This is me showing restraint.”
Building permits are already being processed, despite concerns from literally everyone who has ever taken an architecture class. But this is America, where if you have enough money, you can build whatever ridiculous monument to yourself you want, and everyone else just has to deal with it.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/donald-trumps-300-million-ballroom/7
SOURCE: Sarah Pappalardo (https://bohiney.com/donald-trumps-300-million-ballroom/7)
