Because Apparently We Ran Out of the First 15
In what can only be described as a Herculean feat of outrage archaeology, political commentators have excavated fifteen fresh grievances against Donald Trump, proving that the well of discontent runs deeper than a Mar-a-Lago basement storage facility. Just when Americans thought they’d catalogued every possible complaintfrom questionable tax strategies to Twitter feuds with mayorsthe think tanks and opinion pages have delivered a sequel nobody asked for but everyone apparently needed.
The new list features everything from “he wore the wrong shade of red tie on a Tuesday” to “his golf swing represents everything wrong with American capitalism,” showcasing the kind of creative reasoning that would make Kafka jealous. Political analysts spent approximately 47 seconds on each reason before rushing to publish, understanding that in today’s news cycle, speed trumps substancepun absolutely intended.
What’s particularly fascinating about this exhaustive inventory is how it manages to be both completely predictable and utterly surprising. Yes, we expected critiques about policy decisions and cabinet appointments, but nobody saw coming the complaint about “the way he drinks water suggests authoritarian tendencies.” One pundit even suggested that Trump’s preference for well-done steak with ketchup represents a fundamental misunderstanding of democratic norms, which is either brilliant satire or a sign we’ve run out of actual problems to discuss.
The entertainment value of watching both sides of the political spectrum react to these reasons cannot be overstated. Supporters immediately dismissed all fifteen as “fake news” without reading them, while critics nodded solemnly as if each point revealed profound truths about the American condition. Meanwhile, the vast majority of Americans scrolled past the article to watch videos of cats falling off furniture, which is arguably a more productive use of time.
Political strategists from both parties are studying this list with the intensity usually reserved for swing state polling data. Democrats are workshopping which reasons poll best with suburban moms, while Republicans are crafting counter-lists titled “15 Reasons the Left Has Lost Its Mind” and “Why Everyone Needs to Calm Down About Everything.” The circular firing squad of American politics continues its well-choreographed dance.
Perhaps the most telling aspect of this phenomenon is what it reveals about our current political discourse: we’ve become so entrenched in our positions that we need numbered lists to organize our outrage. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned, unstructured fury? Now everything needs bullet points and SEO optimization. The future of political discourse apparently involves slideshow presentations and engagement metrics.
As the 2024 election cycle heats up, we can expect “15 More Reasons” to spawn an entire franchise: “15 Additional Reasons,” “15 Reasons We Forgot to Mention,” and eventually “We’ve Actually Run Out of Reasons But Here Are 15 Anyway.” The content mills must be fed, and apparently, Trump-related grievances are the coal that keeps this engine running.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/15-more-reasons-to-hate-trump/
SOURCE: Sarah Pappalardo (https://bohiney.com/15-more-reasons-to-hate-trump/)
